Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Snaily to retire to Snellville Beach

We at Snellville Beach are so excited about our newest resident!

We are happy to announce that Snaily the Snellville Snail has chosen beautiful scenic Snellville Beach as his place of retirement. Snaily and his wife Shelly decided on Snellville Beach because of convenience (it's only 20 minutes away from wherever you are) and the quiet atmosphere of Snellville Beach.

At a press conference with no-one in attendance, our ever intrepid albeit slow-moving hero Snaily disclosed that he loves to hear the non-existent waves crash against the shoreline, while Shelly loves the idea of living at the beach without really being at an actual beach. No sand between the toes if she had any toes, that sort of thing. That can get itchy, and it's hard to find anyone with the time or patience to pick sand out from between a snail's toes with a toothpick.

Said Snaily,

"Well, lemme tell ya, Snellville's lifted the ban on Sunday alcohol sales in restaurants, and Snellville's been good to me, but now Snellville is just zipping along at such a pace it's PASSED me by. I'm ready to go somewhere and relax. Snellville appreciates me, and I appreciate Snellville - but the time has come to leave the past behind."


We are so excited that Snaily will be here with us. We may even be able to make an exception for Free Beach Towel Day and actually give out a beach towel for Snaily. Of course in his case, it would probably just be a Post-It Note, and we'll take a Crayola marker and draw some lines on it to make it look like a beach towel. Maybe Snaily will fall for it. All I know is we can't just give out actual imaginary beach towels or Post It Notes willy-nilly.

Ruh roh, is Snellville Beach freshwater or salt-water? It might be saltwater. [sound effect of intake of breath through teeth] Let us speak no more of this unpleasantness.

I think he'll be safe here inside this blog. CLICK HERE if you'd like to catch up or review the Ongoing Saga of Snaily the Snellville Snail. There won't be a test on this material, but it never hurts to study anyway.

UPDATE: The sale of the 2010 City of Snellville Christmas ornaments featuring the snail have been delayed. For more details, see MySnellvilleBlog.

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