Competition with Snellville Farmers' Market

Photo by Kevin Kitchens

We've certainly counted less visitors to Snellville Beach since the Snellville Farmers' Market started on Saturday mornings. That's basically because we have been over at the Snellville Farmers' Market, and not on the beach counting people.

But I still wonder why somebody would want to go shopping for organic, healthy salad ingredients - when they could be at Snellville Beach soaking up harmful UV rays.

Snellville Beach is quiet

Hired Consultants to help us fix what's wrong
The amount of visitors to Snellville Beach has been declining lately. After paying a team of consultants huge amounts of money, they told me that I should hire another team of consultants to analyze the problem. So I spent an even more obscene amount of money to hire the new team of consultants. They came to the conclusion that Snellville Beach lacks visitors because Snellville Beach doesn't exist. Dangit! I probably should have realized that. Wished I had, before I spent all that money.

Rain in Snellville

After this morning's rain, all of Snellville is on the beach.

Hot today at Snellville Beach

Whew it's hot today at Snellville Beach and a nice breeze.

Sudden temperature drop at Snellville Beach reported

The temperature at Snellville Beach suddenly went down 10 degrees this past week, when Ms. Myra Bodacious stepped onto the sand. You see, Ms. Bodacious wears a Quadruple G bikini top size. That's GGGG (or G4), thus creating a large shady area.

The event reduced the beach temperature to 73 degrees. The lowered temperature decreased the turnout for our annual Free Beach Towel Day, but since we had no towels to give away, it didn't really matter.

If we decide to have another Free Snellville Beach Towel Day (and we should, since it's an annual event), we might think about actually ordering some beach towels. That would help the giveaway go much more smoothly, regardless of whether Ms. Bodacious decides to visit the Beach or not.

Free beach towel day at Snellville Beach

Grab a friend and come on out to Snellville Beach tomorrow and receive a free beach towel! Snellville Beach doesn't really exist, but don't worry - neither do the beach towels. So we recommend you not get wet, unless you bring your own towel.

What was the point of posting this if neither the beach or the towels exist? Honestly, I do not know. The good news is that this free beach towel day will be an annual event.

It's 83 degrees at Snellville Beach!

This has been a rough time at Snellville Beach, I've gotta be honest with y'all.

The weather in Snellville proper has been really cold, and tonight it's even snowing. Everyone is wondering if Gwinnett County Schools are going to close. Walton County Schools has announced closure on Friday.

So there's this cold, miserable, wet weather all around Snellville Beach - but you know, it can be as cold as it wants to be in the area around Snellville Beach, but it doesn't effect the weather here at the beach.

Amazingly, Snellville Beach rarely gets cooler than 83 degrees. There is some kind of magic weather pocket (MWP) here. I can't explain it, not sure if I can even try.

All I can say is, dayum, I love the coconut smell of my Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion, don't you?